Cet été j’ai remis en question mes liens filiaux, mon cercle d’amis, mon style de vie, mes ambitions, mes désirs, mes forces et faiblesses jusqu’au point de douter de ma propre essence. Par contre, j’ai su reconnecter avec la nature et ses silences, un calme intérieur insoupçonné et ma solitude. J’aurais pu chercher à être sauvée, sombrer dans la victimisation et croire que « l’autre » saura combler ce vide profond qui existe en moi… et pourtant, j’apprends à être une femme entière, indépendante et libre. Yes, I stand alone and the loneliness is sometimes overwhelming. I sometimes crave for closeness and wish I could just reach for another woman’s hand and feel the comfort of having a significant other in my life but what do I have to give, really? I am searching for my own life’s purpose. How can I give the best of me if I don’t know what the best is?
I know some of you will read this and think I am in serious need of medication but isn’t life about questioning ourselves and finding new answers, reaching for new territories (inwards and out) and getting to know ourselves better? How many of you can say you feel complete (in all spheres of life)? What is it they say…? What doesn’t break us makes us stronger? Understanding what breaks us does make us stronger and the road is often more chaotic but so much richer in experience and wisdom.
I cannot end this entree without mentioning the deep loss in Canadian politics. Everyone was saddened by last week’s news. Whether we agreed or not with Jack Layton’s policies, we can all concur that he was (and will remain) a noble-hearted man. One can never blame him for not believing in social justice and defending the rights of ALL Canadians. But aside from the political man we all knew, he was also a husband, a father, a grandfather… but foremost a loving and sensitive man. I hope we can all learn something from Jack. LOVE. HOPE. AND BELIEVE IN OUR DREAMS.
Ally L.