On today’s list of things to let go of is one of importance: attachment. Why attachment you will ask, as I have asked myself? I always thought that getting attached to things or people was a good thing. It comes with memories and pleasure. There’s an emotional bond. But, I have learned the difference between attachment and true love.
Attachment (to objects and people) comes from fear… fear of loosing them and needing to possess them in order to make sure they don’t disappear on us – God forbid we should go on without them! But the truth is…the world keeps turning without them and we learn to move forward. And there is a difference to be said between moving on and moving forward. Moving on is often referred to as leaving things behind, hiding them in our past as if they had never existed in the first place. Moving forward, on the other hand, involves all that we have been and carrying it with us in order to become a better self.
So, as attachment grows from fear, love is kind and selfless. In its purity, it exists regardless of the pain of not having that person (or object) in our possession or proximity. And so, true love involves letting go and feeling the freedom of “being” instead of possessing something or someone.
It took me a while to differentiate the two. And it is hard to love – truly – when a close one moves forward (away from or without us). But I wondered, how do I experience life to the fullest without attachment? So, I looked it up. Thank God for the internet; answers at my fingertips!
Here are a few tips:
1) Define yourself in fluid terms that refer to who you are and not what you have!
Use words that withstand change. If we define ourselves by our possessions, roles or relationships, we are constantly resisting to the need to move forward because of our attachment to what we have and what we do.
2) Friend yourself!
It will be easier to let go of people when necessary if you have your own sense of worth. You will also learn to relate to people for whom they are and not how they make you feel!!!
3) Love instead of fear!
We often hold on to the past out of fear… fear we messed up and that we will never be happy again. Focusing on love will eventually foster happiness.
4) Open your mind!
We often like to dwell on the past or difficult situations because they are part of our comfort zone – even the suffering is sometimes comforting! We should allow ourselves to get out of our comfort zone, open our mind to new perspectives and possibilities.
5) Seize the day and hold on lightly!
Live the moment. It will never come again. Attachment fostered on outcomes or results may be disappointing for many of us. And when holding on to loved ones, we should hold on lightly. If we grasp too tightly, we might end up suffocating others.
I hope it makes sense to you!
Next thing to let go of…?
I’ll think about it and let you know in the near future!
Ally L.