the bell's about to ring... got to go!
Ally L.
what do romeo & juliet and ally in wonderland have in common? nothing. except maybe that ally should be grading her students’ essays on romeo & juliet instead of writing this blog!!! to be honest, i wish i had the day off just so i could write(who doesn’t want a day off right?). i had lost the desire to write and share my perspective on life and relationships and it seems i am inspired once again. writing, for me, is like therapy. putting ideas and thoughts onto paper (or on a virtual screen!) allows me to put together all the pieces of my life and understand myself a bit better. also, maybe you have noticed it yourself but, thinking is one thing; it is abstract and flexible, it is hidden and not quite real or concrete until... our thoughts are actually spoken or written down. my thoughts somehow come alive when they are spoken and shared with someone, either because they are affirmed by others or contradicted, but either way they become part of my “being” in the world and so, i am ready to “be” in the world once again. this being said, there are many ways to be in the world. that too is a very abstract idea but it all relates to who i am and who i want to be for myself. seeking approval from others has always been my way of being in the world; being the good daughter, the available sister, the successful student, the understanding friend and so on, but through this need of approval, one tends to forget what ones basic needs and desires really are (since our first goal is to please others!). and so, i am trying to be in the world, without the need to always do the right thing according to others. and i have learned the hard way that honesty is an indispensable tool. i cannot be authentic in the world (with others but also with myself) without being honest about who i am, that is: accepting my strengths for what they are and working with my weaknesses. i was one of those who thought that crying was a sign of weakness and so i hardly ever cried in front of others. i often thought that people said they liked me not because i was likable but because they were being polite. and so finding ally was quite the journey... filled with regrets but also with growth and discovery. :)
the bell's about to ring... got to go! Ally L.
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