writing is like therapy; the more i write the more i dig into my psyche and find out about who i was, who i am and who i really want to be – which, hopefully, leads me to where i really want to be in my life. now that spring is around the corner, i allow myself to imagine what my summer will look like. i don’t want to rub it in, but being a teacher does have its advantages! so this summer... i would love to drive across the province, all the way to the maritimes. i was crazy enough to think i might do the same across canada... and end up in banff or vancouver. wishful thinking maybe but i NEED to get out of town, loose myself in new surroundings and feel free from the chains i sometimes impose on myself (whether at work or at home).
why all this need for freedom all of a sudden you will ask?. well, in the past weeks i have been coming out of my shell - trying to find my way back to civilisation and socializing with the human race once again. i was lucky enough to come upon a woman who has made me feel alive once more and that feeling was such a relief! yes, there’s always a girl behind my every breath of fresh air BUT it’s not what you think! ok, it is was what you think but she is spoken for and off limits! this being said, i met this woman i was actually interested in and she made me smile. sounds ordinary, i know, but don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of interesting lesbians out there, however, i’ve been so uninterested in connecting with anyone for the last 18 months that i surprised myself with this special interest. and this blog isn’t about meeting the right person. it’s about hope. it is possible that someone out there might catch my eye (and my heart!) after all. this first glimmer of hope woke up a part of me that i felt had died a while back.
so with spring comes sunshine, warmth, playfulness, drinks on a terrace and plans for the summer. it is all starting to make me smile a little bit more each day.
i hope you can also share a smile or two with the people around you!
cheers!
ally L.